Racism in the Middle Kindgom

KXF:  "It's not racism."
Me:  "Then it's discrimination or prejudice."
KXF:  "No, it's not discrimination."
Me:  "It sure feels like racism."
KXF:  "It's not.  They're just curious...and maybe a little ignorant."
Me:  "Racists usually are ignorant."

The above is based on a conversation that I had perhaps seven months ago with a good friend.  There are some things that happen in China that make for a very uncomfortable experience.

• Staring -- Unless you're in a densely populated area rife with other foreigners, you're going to get stares.  They're the kind of stares that aren't even hidden.  When you gaze meets their own, they don't quickly look away and try to put on that they weren't staring.  The staring just gets worse.  It becomes... uncomfortable.  Things they might be thinking:  this foreigner is so white, so fat, so tall, dressed so strangely, covered in body hair.  There's nothing intrinsically wrong with staring, and it's something that having been to France I was prepared for, but it does begin to feel a little uncomfortable when you're literally surrounded on all sides by staring people.
• 老外～！-- "Laowai!"  This means "foreigner".  Some people think that this particular phrase is inappropriate and a little heavy handed.  外国人 is another phrase (waiguo ren), and it means the same thing.  Perhaps it's a little more respectful.  With my understanding, 老外 used to be disrespectful but is becoming acceptable.  To put this into perspective, take the situation in America.  "Gay" was always preferred to "Queer", but with the advent of the show "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy", this word started to become acceptable.  It's still based on personal taste, but the potency of "queer" depends on the intention used.  Now that I've set this information up, I'll get to the point.  People practically shout this whenever they see a foreigner.  It seems to be an alert to all of the other Chinese people that they've spotted an infiltrator (not that we're easy to miss).  It's kind of cute when a mother and young son are walking hand-in-hand and the boy tells his mom to look at the foreigner.  It's less cute when it's some dirty middle-aged worker riding in the back of an improvised three-wheeled motor cart telling his friends to promptly turn around and play the staring game (see above).
• Questions --  "Where do you come from?  How tall are you?  You're feet are so big, what size do you wear?  How long have you been in China?  You're fat; how much do you weigh?  How much money do you earn?  Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?"  These questions are all the same.  It's as though every Chinese person has a mental check-list and must run through all of these before they can get to any real conversation.  Many of the questions, to a foreigner, are quite probing and inappropriate.  They're not inappropriate in Chinese culture, though, and these probably really do stem from curiosity.  The problem here is that foreigners aren't acquainted with this type of invasive question, nor are they accustomed to receiving the same damn questions over and over.  I was once told that these are the questions that are asked because these are they questions that they can say in English (thanks KXF), but the truth is that they're the same damn questions in Chinese.
• Culture (minor) --  There are minor things about Chinese culture that will directly cause Chinese to stare in bewilderment and disbelief, such as the ability to use chopsticks.  Using chopsticks is like taking a shit after drinking twelve beers and pounding eight chocolate bars and a greasy taco.  It's going to happen, and it's going to be easy.  There comes a point where the daily things just become absorbed into your own personal culture, and you know you're doing it right when finally a Chinese person looks at what you're eating and says they want that (rather than vice-versa).  He's eating dumplings?  He's eating duck leg rice?  He's eating fried glutinous rice cakes?  He's eating big plate chicken?  Of course I am...  it's what's around here.  How could I live for a year in China and not eat the food?  Or get used to the chopsticks, for that matter?  And you don't need to treat me like I'm incapable of doing so.
• Culture (major) -- My brother from another mother is guilty of this.  There is a belief that only the finer points of Chinese culture should be shared with foreigners.  Like putting the best face forward.  However, when you're in it for the long haul, you need to be acquainted with the darker side of culture, as well.  Every nation has a dark side.  Every nation has it's positive points.  To exclude me from certain information that you gladly share with others within your own race is bullshit.  Chinese culture dates back thousands hundreds of years, and it's not so special or intricate that others cannot understand.  You simply don't allow them to understand.  It's secretive.  It's elitist.  It's hateful.  It's racism.  You're not betraying your country if you tell me.  You're betraying me if you don't tell me.  Don't give me the "ancient Chinese secret" treatment.
• Physical Form --  KXF took me to the hospital.  He made a comment that was really weird.  He said that it was surprising that even though I'm not Chinese, I have the same veins under my skin.  I was going to an eye examination with another friend, and he made a comment about eyes that gave me the same feeling.  Sure they may look different, but the function is the same.  He also was under the impression that I had blue eyes...  I don't.  My eyes are brown... just like his.  This doesn't anger me like the others do.  I understand there's a visible difference between physical traits from one race to another.  I find it a bit humorous.
• Water Closets --   It doesn't happen always, but it happens enough that it earns an honorable mention on my list here.  Apparently my ...er... trident (*ahem*) needs to be stared at, as well (see above).  Is it really so different from yours that you have to marvel at its exoticness?  I can understand curiosity.  Truly I can.  After all, I'm also curious as to what theirs look like, but here's the fundamental difference: I'm queer!  Out of respect to people and respect for the rules of Water Closet Behavior, I refrain.  Why can't you?

This list is far from over.