Conventional Wisdom: Chinese Medicine

Every Chinese person thinks they're a practiced physician.  That may seem like a generalization, but I can assure you that it's really not.

Got a cold?

Drink more hot water.

Tired?

Go to bed at 9pm instead of 10.

Got the flu?

Drink more hot water.  Exercise.

Want to lose weight?

Eat dark chocolate and beef.

Got tonsillitis?

Drink more hot water.  Have a rest.  Exercise.

Got a slight fever?

Go directly to the hospital.  Do not pass Go.  Do not collect 200 dollars.

It wouldn't be so bad, but like I said:  every Chinese person thinks they're a physician.  So if you get sick, there's 1.6 billion people to cram advice down your throat.  If I ever had a cough, the students knew just what to do -- tell me the same damn thing that 150 other people have already told me.  Drink more hot water.  Perhaps I'm missing something, but water hardly seems like medicine to me.  And that tonsillitis one?  How exactly am I supposed to have a rest and exercise?  Aren't those direct polar opposites of each other?

The last one, fever, is pretty sound advice.  You can go see a real doctor.  And after he shines a light down your throat, he knows just what's wrong with you.  He'll prescribe you some medicine (western medicine, thank the gods), and then he'll tell you to drink more hot water and have a rest.  Son of a bitch!