The Cost of Good Health

If you don't know why I needed to go to the hospital, then you should maybe discover the reason instead of forming your own conclusions.  Having an informed opinion is first on the list of things to do in order to avoid being a raging douchebag.

Let me preface the content of this post by first saying that I am damn proud to be an American.  There's nothing I hate more than government funded healthcare systems (England), gay marriage (Canada), next to free college education (France), or a myriad party political structure (Germany).  Actually, with respect to a few of those, these countries are all really similar to each other (when compared to amber waves of grain), and that's why I detest them with all of my star spangled glory.

This is my Jesus Christ.  He went muddin' for my indiscretions.

Say for instance that these guys know everything about x rays, and that these guys know everything about MRI's.  Things like this would most likely be free (or dirty, filthy cheap) in a place like Francanadengland, but America isn't a place of glitter and flowers and dreams.  Those things are for girls, and America is most certainly not girly.

Apparently the average x ray of a knee is about US$400.  What goes into the price of this?  Well, the price doesn't include the consultation or the examination... because that would be in the doctor's fee in the final bill.  This is just the technical aspect of the operation, I suppose.  So your money is going to support the fancy equipment--and rightfully so!

I don't know where the Chinese get off offering an examination, x ray, and consultation for US$14.47.  Just to be clear, this operation with everything included is 27 times cheaper in China than in the cornfields of Indiana.

The MRI can cost anywhere between 400 and 3,500 US$.  This includes the fancy equipment and the professional reading and consultation with the radiologist that suffers from a god-complex.  Of course, it depends on which body part is being examined.  The scrotum, for example, is far less intrinsically valuable than the right ankle.  Well, that's just my guess anyway.  What do I know about this kind of pricing?  Can the lovesack even be examined in this manner?  Do people do it?  Can they feel it?  Is it as good for the machine as it is for them?

And then you see the average price of an MRI at some of the more well-known locations in Americaland.  Anywhere between 1k5 and 3k5 on AVERAGE!...

In China, this operation, everything included, tallied up to US$88.80.

We're hammering medical prices into the ground!

Now, I know what you're thinking....  You're thinking that I can't really do the money exchange.  I should be comparing America's situation in USD with China's situation in RMB.  That's all well and good, but I have an argument for that.

One of the arguments for the prices is that the equipment costs so much.  Population means that more people will see the equipment in China, which means that supply of people is greater and thus price is lower?  That may not be the case.  You have to basically demand that these tests be run.  I had to ask for an x ray.  Then, I had to ask a different doctor for an MRI.  They don't hand them out like crazy.  If you stub your toe in America, you're rushed to the hospital in an ambulance.  You're not allowed to leave until you've had an x ray, an MRI, an EKG, and an ultrasound of your stupidity.  Therefore, I think it all kind of evens out in the end.

Another thing I would like to mention is that a 2 litre of Coca-Cola costs somewhere between $0.99 and $1.29 in America.  6.7 is the exchange rate.  0.99 x 6.7 comes pretty close to the 7RMB that is required to purchase 2 litres of the same thing over here.  So really, it depends on the product you're using.  If there was a cheap Chinese soda with a full and rich caramel body, then maybe the price would be more similar to the US one, sans conversion.

The machine used for the MRI wasn't some cheap, lame Chinese knock-off MRI blaster.  It was GE.  Fucking GE!

Even if we did compare the numbers without conversion, there's still no question.  400USD for an x ray vs. 100RMB.  400 - 3,500USD for an MRI vs. 595RMB.  Do you see a fucking problem?

I see a goddamned problem!  I see a motherfucking problem!  I'm not blind to this batshit!

I'm starting to wonder if America's so-called seat of power is not instead a throne of lies.

Then again maybe I'm over-reacting.

Anyone could do it...

Every country has its bullshit.......

 (with the exception of perfect and glorious China)

So maybe I should try to look at my homeland fondly.

She can't afford real clothes because healthcare is so  expensive!
She can only drape herself in the pride of her country!

Maybe not so fondly after all......

...cannot be unseen!!!

To be perfectly honest, and really there's no reason not to, I like the United States.  I just don't like the majority of the people, the de facto religion du jour, the failing system of education, the bi-partisan bullshit festival, the swollen costs of cheaply made prescription drugs, the back-and-forth rights of people, and the insurance companies.

There is something I do like, though.

I give you Sanity's Last Hope:

My REAL Jesus is a C-List magician duo.  FML.

Dear god.  No wonder I got the hell out of dodge.

Cheers! To Health and Friendship!

Oh ehm gee, I have made like so many new and exciting new friends since coming to China!  I can't even count them!

Actually, I probably can count them.  I can probably do it on my digits, excluding the toes even.

Let me see if I can find...  I have a picture of one of my good friends.  It's around here...  Where did I put it?  Oh yeah.


Here:

Yellow -- why the fuck am I drinking this?

His name is 黄酒 (huang jiu) or "yellow wine".  It looks like a caramel drink such as a nice, crisp, refreshing staple soda, but the taste cannot even compare.  Without trying to sound like some prudish, pretentious wine connoisseur, let me just tell you that the exotic flavor of this drink is actually quite revolting.  Somehow one is capable of convincing one's self that "it's not thaaat bad".  That's not true, though.  That's the diminished hopes and dreams of a delusional foreigner talking.

Come to think of it, Yellow Wine isn't really much of a friend at all.  He's more of a frenemy.  Ladies and gentlemen, with your permission, I would recount a tale of tragedy and despair.

It was a hot and sunny afternoon, and the people would call the day "spectacularly beautiful".  Makes me sick!  Unwilling to put up with the ceaseless wonder of the summer, I drew the curtains and opened the refrigerator.  Not good.  One beer.  I had company, so I couldn't take the beer for myself.  I gave it over to my friend Jack, and then I went on the prowl.

High and low I searched for something more potable than the tap water.  I found a swig of wine left over from the winter and half a bottle of Ol' Yellow.  This is also when Jack pulled out a bottle of wine and offered it to me as a gift.  The party was started.  I got through the Yellow.  I finished my wine.  I popped the new bottle and destroyed it.

Dinner time...

Ta-da!  I bought two more bottles of red wine!  I couldn't let the party end.  Different drinking partner, same old song and dance.  This tango I was so fond of took me to a bar where I gently sipped (read: obliterated) four beers.

Obligatory McDonald's trip...

After a couple McGangbangs and four orders of fries, it was time to come home.  Taxi hailed, at which point I'm totally blind--go figure.  My right knee comes in contact with the thin side of an opened cab door.

Just over two weeks later, my knee is wrapped and covered in some kind of mystical Chinese cream gunk.  To my left, I've got the results of an x ray and an MRI.  Two weeks down.  Two more months to go.  FML.

Thanks, Yellow.  You're a wonderful friend.  And yes, I know you're just the scapegoat in all of this.  I love the red wine too much to blame it, and only an idiot would blame the gorgeous summer day.  So, in the end, it really has to be you.  That's just how the cards fall, I'm afraid.  So fuck you, yellow wine.  Fuck you.  Fuck your sister.  Fuck your mother.  Fuck your grandma!

You've pissed me off, Yellow.  I'm gonna kick your ass and make you scream like the bitch you are, but you'll have to wait two months for me to recover.